One Week

In exactly one week I will be 6 hours into my plane ride to Amsterdam, at which point my ankles will probably be swollen, and I'll be bored of all my music, and trying to sleep a bit before landing. Then I will be running through the airport hoping that 50 minutes is enough time to make my transfer to get me to my plane bound for Nairobi. Holy.
Then I will be in Nairobi over night, hopefully in Jayne's friend's house, then back on a plane the next day to Kisumu, then a car ride to Ulamba. Oh will I ever be exhausted. I am a bit worried that I'll be anxious, exhausted, cranky, sad, but hoping that I'll be elated by the fact that I'm in Africa!
It's unbelievable which is why I'm feeling a sense of detachment. It's so foreign that I'm unable to imagine what will happen, although I've been day dreaming about it since September. I just want to drink it all in. Even this, now, my anxiety, nerves, heartburn, it's all part of it, part of going somewhere so amazing.
I don't really talk about it with anyone, except the other girls. I never want to sound as though I'm bragging, and I can't explain how I feel without sounding nonchalant. And that is not how I truly feel about this trip. I wouldn't have been able to afford it if it weren't for bursaries, work, student loans and help. It's an expensive place to go, but worth more than any money for me.

Everything I've been feeling these last few weeks has been compounded by all the little things going on, my lack of structure, not having my normal life lined up for when I get back, worrying that maybe I don't want that normal life back, man oh man it's been an interesting month. I've never felt this way before.